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November 28, 2011
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The Siren

by =QuiEstInLiteris

There was a dead body on Sandie's back porch, and it was trying to get in.

She wrung the coffee out of the front of her shirt, made damn sure that all of her doors and windows were locked, and called Mike.

"Mike."

"Yeah? Sandie? That you?"

"You don't know anything about this, do you?"

"About what?"

"The zombie."

"Come again?"

"Mike, there's a zombie on my back porch. It's leaving smears on the glass door. Is it yours?"

"I... Could you repeat that?"

"Zombie, Mike. It's a dead body in a puddle of nasty, and it's leaving more nasty on my door. God, I can even smell it. This is one thorough job, man."

She edged away from the door, keeping an eye on the intruder beyond the glass. It was bloated and purple with decay, green and black fungus speckling its face. There was fluid coming out of its mouth and dripping from its nose. It had no eyes, and all indication of sex or age had rotted away.

"Robotic, maybe? One of its legs is about to fall off. You didn't sic one of your Cyber Derby friends on me, did you?"

There was a long moment of silence on the other end, then the sound of a slamming door and an engine revving.

"I don't know anything about it. But hey, are you going to be at home for a while? Can I come see it?"

"I sure as hell am not going out the back door. If it smells that bad inside... I'll put another pot of coffee on for you, okay? Come through the garage when you get here. Bring a shotgun or something just in case."

Sandie hung up and stuck her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, moving into the kitchen to refresh her cup. She went upstairs to change shirts, threw the stained one into the laundry, and washed her hands in the bathroom. The thumping and scratching from the back door was audible throughout the house, and it did not stop. She wondered whether she should be scared, but it all felt too much like a low-budget horror flick to be real.

A careful peek out of the hall revealed that the unwelcome guest was beginning to flag. The thumps were a bit further apart than they had been at first. Sandie cupped her hand over her nose and approached the door, with the reasoning that if it was going to get in, it would have gotten in already. The stink was nauseating.

"So," she said around her hand. "Are you here for my brains or what?"

The body clawed at the glass.

"You want a cup of coffee? Kudos on the makeup job, by the way, or whatever that is. It looks pro. Is that pig blood or something? You know you're going to be scrubbing my porch down later, right?"

The body hummed. It smacked a defleshed hand against the door, and the view distorted as the glass rippled with powerful bass vibrations.

Sandie fell back on her ass with a yelp, ruining another shirt with coffee.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded as the vibrations slowed and died. She picked herself up and crouched in front of the glass, staring into the creature's empty eye sockets. She received the unnerving impression that it was staring back. A dribble of black spilled from its mouth and splattered on the cement outside. There was half a grasshopper in it.

"Oh," Sandie said. "You're real, aren't you? Oh, God, you're real." That panic started to well up, along with the bagel she had eaten for breakfast. "Oh, God, oh my God."

She reached back and pulled the phone from her pocket, hit redial as fast as she could. Mike's phone began to ring. The body outside stared through the glass, its swollen tongue hanging down to its chin. It slumped sideways, pressing its shoulder against the glass.

Sandie gasped into the receiver, and there was a click.

"Sandie? You okay?"

"Right. No. Cops. Hurry."

"Wh-?"

She hung up and punched in 9-1-1.

The body hummed. It resonated, a clear, bell-like tone. Dust sifted down from the ceiling. The glass warped and undulated like a sheet of water, then burst inward with a pop. Sparkling fragments rained down amid a shockwave of sound.

The phone beeped, sparked and died, and Sandie was on her knees, feeling oddly mellow in the moments before she passed out.
:iconquiestinliteris:
Actually, it's not a zombie story. But you don't get to find out what sort of story it is for quite a while. ;)

I'm going to TRY to do my own little NaNo during December, since a change in the work situation this coming Spring will most likely take away ALL of my chance to generate new material - I'd rather have something ready to go for editing.

Mature content, do you think? I tried not to be too graphic, but decomposition is a messy business. Anyway, if you think it needs a tag, do let me know.

Part 1: YOU ARE HERE
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Part 5: [link]
Part 6: [link]
Part 7: [link]
Part 8: [link]
Part 9: [link]
Part 10: [link]
Part 11: [link]
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:iconelaynecapahony:
Hi~ This is my first ever critique and I hope I did it right.

This may be like a short story, but it's really well written, really original. Full of suspense, horror and supernatural. Just my kind of story. Reading this section makes me eager to see this story til the end and taking a new view on horror stories. (I have nothing against horror novels, it's just that it's so scary...)

I myself written a supernatural story but I never thought zombies could be made into something so terrifying yet exciting at the same time. The words flows beautifully into tune and as mentioned, I'm eager to see this story through the end....

xxx

Elayne
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconsilvalkyriana:
Lovely piece! A job well done.

I enjoyed your dialog in this chapter, the flow was so elegant and pulled me right in to the scene. Your twist on the simple zombie story was definitely intriguing, making me wonder about the zombie's existence and the sanity of the lady as well.

I felt completely intertwined with the story from the start, and the character development was done efficiently and effectively, giving me a clear grasp of the story, without completely revealing it all.

Your descriptions were not too gory, and they definitely allowed for my mind to fill in the details you lacked.

Overall, a great piece, I'll definitely keep reading ^^
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12 out of 12 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icondeadmi55:
Mood: Eye Candy ~Deadmi55 May 11, 2012  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
amazin!!!!!!!

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I attract Zombies. Good job i love them ;)
Reply
:iconmemnalar:
Just so you know, "half a grasshopper" is where you sold me.

Well done.
Reply
:iconquiestinliteris:
=QuiEstInLiteris May 10, 2012  Professional Writer
^^; Came about after a neighbour's dog threw up on my porch. Half a grasshopper there, too.
Thank you kindly. Coming from you, that's quite flattering.

--
There was a dead body on Sandie's back porch, and it was trying to get in.
Reply
:iconwriter84:
~Writer84 May 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No, tag needed. Wow a very solid engaging piece of writing. In ways you're style reminds me a lot of Dean Koontz. Already I am intrigued and look forward to finding out who Sandie is and what is her relationship with the guy on her way over to her house.

I'll defently read from here and get back to you but as far as style and the dialogue and the characters. Great stuff I also write stories though haven't I don't believe posted any actual stories on this site mostly just poetry

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Round up the usual suspects
Reply
:iconquiestinliteris:
=QuiEstInLiteris May 10, 2012  Professional Writer
^^ Thank you kindly! I've never read any Dean Koontz, actually. I probably should; he's sort of iconic. I hope that you continue to enjoy my little story. :)
I'll have to check out your poetry, too!

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There was a dead body on Sandie's back porch, and it was trying to get in.
Reply
:iconwriter84:
Mood: Joy ~Writer84 May 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're quite welcome and yes he is iconic and well still writing prolifically as well he hands down is my all time favorite author . I have no doubt that I shall as time permits thoroughly enjoy you're story and thanks

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Round up the usual suspects
Reply
:iconmoonlightwillow6:
Wow... talk about creepy. Maybe it's just because I am terrified of zombies, but this was really scary.

I really liked the mood whiplash in this. The beginning seemed kind of humorous (especially the first sentence. I really liked it), but the end most certainly was not. Overall, I think you did a great job! Awesome work.

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Sincerely,
The Procrastination Princess

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching"
~Gerard Way

Check out the group I am a contributor in here: [link]
Reply
:iconquiestinliteris:
=QuiEstInLiteris May 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Zombies aren't really my thing, so I'm very glad that this turned out well.
Thank you!

--
There was a dead body on Sandie's back porch, and it was trying to get in.
Reply
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